Today is November 11th and its about 2:00.... if you’re a Christmas freak like me you know that in 43 days & 10 hours it will be midnight on christmas eve and Santa will be flyin high.... Okay so maybe that was a bit much, but still it shows you something about my personality. I love Christmas time. I was always a spoiled lil kid at xmas time, but Im not even like this because of the presents...I just love everything about it. It isn’t even thanksgiving yet and Im already freaking out about it. There’s not even much happening yet...the stores are selling decorations, the commercials have been leaking into my favorite sitcoms, and it is Christmas at Starbucks already (yay gingerbread lattes!) , but other than that the “most wonderful time” hasn’t even started. So if I’m not excited about toys...I dont see Christmas everywhere ..and snow has barely started falling, why am I still so excited?
I think that my excitement comes from simple expectancy. I am merely expecting the holiday season to come and be wonderful, I just have faith that it will come like it always does. I dont yet have prove, but I have expectancy anyway because of my faith in Christmastime. That same thing happened to me in my walk with God today.
I woke up early this morning and got ready to go to church knowing that I needed time to get to church on my own and allow time for a stop at the ‘bucks for a muffin and my first gingerbread latte of the year! In the midst of my drinking & driving I started listening to some worship music and I got myself expecting great things for today’s service. By the time I got to the church I was bursting inside and ready for God to do something. God has yet to let me (or anyone else) down so of course he showed up this morning and touched me. It was wonderful, I haven’t been impacted that much in a service in a while and that got me thinking...
An anointed man was at our church, but that isn’t solely where my blessing came from. A lot of it came from my own expectancy. I sought God out and I knew he would show up ..so he did. That faith is what drives Christianity to begin with. We believed and were saved..we believed and were filled... we believe and we will have a long healthy life....so why not believe and receive? So often we go to church expecting it to be long and boring, or thinking that there’s nothing there for me or thinking that there’s no reason to go when itl just make you feel guilty. When we go to church with these negative, God-hindering thoughts we come home as empty as we were before we got out of bed. God can move despite you, but the best way to get God is to expect him to do something.
I have been to many conferences in the last 6 years, and every time I go I get home wondering that if it’s the same God...why doesn’t he move in that same powerful way when I get home? I know that it has something to do with my expectancy. I’ve been at conferences with over 2,000 students crying out to God... of course the spirit will be more powerful there because for weeks before everyone was in prayer expecting great things for the conference. I would love to see what our churches and youth groups would be like if everyone could apply that mentality to every single service. I am as at much at fault as the next guy, but God is challenging me to expect more from him at every church service that I go to. Even if the worship team is off-key, the pastor stutters through his lengthy boring message, and you’re surrounded by distractions, God will still do something in you if you expect him to. I challenge you to take the next service you are going to and pray about it..get excited for it and wait for God to show up. What do you have to lose?(..other than your usual sunday morning pew nap of course)
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Beautiful One *old*
* Disclaimer *
Do not automatically assume that this is an entire blog talking about how pretty my girlfriend is. That will be mentioned, but if you are reading this and you already know me...you know that I have a deeper reason for writing anything I write.
* I now return you to your regularly scheduled weblog*
What is beauty? What a great question. Everyone has their own definition of what they find to be beautiful, but there must be a general definition of that characteristic that has so much power to control a person’s heart, mind, and emotions.
Dictionary.com describes beauty as:
the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
Well that sure is a mouthful eh? So basically the general definition of beauty states that beauty is merely a quality and that that one thing, whatever it may be that appeals to you, is the quality that can make someone or something be considered beautiful in your mind. Hmm.. I find that quite interesting considering that it differs slightly from my personal view of the subject. Now Im not saying that my view is the right one, but you're reading my blog...so just listen k?
I see beauty as something that is all encompassing in a person or thing. Destiny (my girlfriend...the chick in the purple dress) is a beautiful person ( don't act like you didn't see that coming). Even tho she has beautiful qualities it is not merely her pretty face or smile that make her beautiful to me. It’s her heart and spirit combined with the outward appearance that turn her from a person that has beautiful characteristics to a person who is beautiful. I also believe that the old saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a very true statement. Something inside of your being experiences a connection with some person or thing that causes you to find it beautiful. I know that not everyone in the world will find my girlfriend beautiful in the way that I do and that makes perfect sense. God placed that eye for beauty inside of me knowing that it would only find the beauty in her. Okay... i know this has become mushy and confusing, but hang with me for a sec... actually I want you to take a break from my ramblings and listen to this song:
Jeremy Camp: Beautiful One
You can listen to it on my old blogsite:
http://web.mac.com/bverderber/iWeb/Personal%20site/Blog/2B15081C-4961-4550-B476-1A910590662B.html
I hope you enjoyed the song. It is one of my favorites. Now you’re probably wondering why I went from rambling on about beauty to making you listen to a love song to Jesus. The answer to that is simple. I had you listen to that because Jesus is beautiful. Okay so why would anyone find a rough jewish crucified carpenter beautiful? Because God created beauty and he put that desire inside of us and the most beautiful thing he did was send his son to die. I said earlier that God puts an eye for beauty inside of us that only attracts us to certain things. Well were all created to find Him and His Presence beautiful. Did you ever wonder why you got a peaceful, joyful feeling ing in your stomach every time you saw that special person or every time you went to the beach to watch a sunrise? You got that feeling because God designed beauty and he wants us to feel good about his creation. Think of your significant other or a person that you would honestly call beautiful. Now think of that person as a work of art. Tacky I know but stick with me. God created them... and the bible said that we are created in his image. So, if he has the ability to create something that beautiful then he himself must be far more beautiful than we can ever imagine.
This principal can be very good for relationships. It is good to love someone because of God, not love God because of someone else. Be thankful for that person being put in your life, but never base your relationship with God solely on that. Love them for the beauty inside of them, knowing that God himself put it there. I know that this is a little lovey dovey and all, but it really is a principal for life. You will respect yourself, God , and other people so much more when learn to value where their beauty came from. God is beautiful and wonderful and he loves you. If you ever feel like you aren’t beautiful or you find yourself getting away from God because you are ore focused on a relationship..simply look to the beautiful one that created you and put that person in your life. Do not lose sight of the fact that you should love the beautiful things because of the creator. Not the other way around.
Do not automatically assume that this is an entire blog talking about how pretty my girlfriend is. That will be mentioned, but if you are reading this and you already know me...you know that I have a deeper reason for writing anything I write.
* I now return you to your regularly scheduled weblog*
What is beauty? What a great question. Everyone has their own definition of what they find to be beautiful, but there must be a general definition of that characteristic that has so much power to control a person’s heart, mind, and emotions.
Dictionary.com describes beauty as:
the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
Well that sure is a mouthful eh? So basically the general definition of beauty states that beauty is merely a quality and that that one thing, whatever it may be that appeals to you, is the quality that can make someone or something be considered beautiful in your mind. Hmm.. I find that quite interesting considering that it differs slightly from my personal view of the subject. Now Im not saying that my view is the right one, but you're reading my blog...so just listen k?
I see beauty as something that is all encompassing in a person or thing. Destiny (my girlfriend...the chick in the purple dress) is a beautiful person ( don't act like you didn't see that coming). Even tho she has beautiful qualities it is not merely her pretty face or smile that make her beautiful to me. It’s her heart and spirit combined with the outward appearance that turn her from a person that has beautiful characteristics to a person who is beautiful. I also believe that the old saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a very true statement. Something inside of your being experiences a connection with some person or thing that causes you to find it beautiful. I know that not everyone in the world will find my girlfriend beautiful in the way that I do and that makes perfect sense. God placed that eye for beauty inside of me knowing that it would only find the beauty in her. Okay... i know this has become mushy and confusing, but hang with me for a sec... actually I want you to take a break from my ramblings and listen to this song:
Jeremy Camp: Beautiful One
You can listen to it on my old blogsite:
http://web.mac.com/bverder
I hope you enjoyed the song. It is one of my favorites. Now you’re probably wondering why I went from rambling on about beauty to making you listen to a love song to Jesus. The answer to that is simple. I had you listen to that because Jesus is beautiful. Okay so why would anyone find a rough jewish crucified carpenter beautiful? Because God created beauty and he put that desire inside of us and the most beautiful thing he did was send his son to die. I said earlier that God puts an eye for beauty inside of us that only attracts us to certain things. Well were all created to find Him and His Presence beautiful. Did you ever wonder why you got a peaceful, joyful feeling ing in your stomach every time you saw that special person or every time you went to the beach to watch a sunrise? You got that feeling because God designed beauty and he wants us to feel good about his creation. Think of your significant other or a person that you would honestly call beautiful. Now think of that person as a work of art. Tacky I know but stick with me. God created them... and the bible said that we are created in his image. So, if he has the ability to create something that beautiful then he himself must be far more beautiful than we can ever imagine.
This principal can be very good for relationships. It is good to love someone because of God, not love God because of someone else. Be thankful for that person being put in your life, but never base your relationship with God solely on that. Love them for the beauty inside of them, knowing that God himself put it there. I know that this is a little lovey dovey and all, but it really is a principal for life. You will respect yourself, God , and other people so much more when learn to value where their beauty came from. God is beautiful and wonderful and he loves you. If you ever feel like you aren’t beautiful or you find yourself getting away from God because you are ore focused on a relationship..simply look to the beautiful one that created you and put that person in your life. Do not lose sight of the fact that you should love the beautiful things because of the creator. Not the other way around.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Consistent Change *old*
*This is kinda long, but well worth reading, trust me*
Okay so I’ve thinking about change a whole lot lately. It really hit me when I was speaking at youth group wed. night. For years I’ve thought about what I would say to the group on Senior Night 2007. Well wed. afternoon came and I had forgotten about it for a few days prior. I had planned on talking about Unity and Ephesians 4. I did mention it, but i didn’t even read the scripture I had typed out and highlighted in my hand. I just talked about my time spent at The Rock and how my life has changed and developed there and as I stood in front of that crowd knowing that I would only be a part of that group for 2 more Wed. Nights, the 5 years that I spent there flashed in front of my eyes.
From my first time in the “upper room” to the grand opening of The Rock , From my first night as a worship leader to my last winter retreat. The one thing that stayed the same through all 5 years was change. Things were always changing there, not only in the ministry, but in me. I can happily say that looking back at the little punk kid on stage attempting to be a rock star in a worship team at a small youth group 5 years ago and looking myself now I know all of the changes were for the better. I had some crazy highs and some waaayyy down lows, but in the end... I’m a better person. It’s just so weird to be able to look back. I remember being young enough to only remember birthday parties and christmases...but now I can remember significant life decisions and big events that came and went in a blink.
All of that changed me somehow. I got a little like this around graduation, but the school stuff is so much less permanent. The Rock and my christian journey isn’t the fabricated teenage years that you can watch on TV. Its not just nice memories of friends, dances and activities. Don’t get me wrong, that’s all great, but it doesnt come close to the real impact that my Youth Group and God himself had on me...and the impact that I’ve had on myself.
There’s a thought... we can impact ourselves positively and negatively. There is some truth to all of the super hero movies and Star wars and even some cartoons for that matter. There really are 2 forces at war in side of us...we just have to pick self we allow to impact our lives and which one we bind up... it gets real bad when one’s characteristics start to merge with your “other half” inside of you. That is the root of depression and unfaithfulness and loneliness just to know a few, but the most obvious product of us allowing our evil/human self to attempt to use some of its characteristics when our intentions are to live our lives as our spirit self is blatant hypocrisy. My hypocrisy wasn't always obvious, actually almost never for that matter, but I know darn well that my “christian” speech and attitude didn’t always line up with my actions. I just learned how to sidestep things. To the point at which I got so good at convincing myself that I wasn’t doing anything wrong that I actually believed my own lies... this of course was just what cause the dips in the roller-coaster of my life, when I look back at the grand scheme of things. What I really notice isn’t these bad changes that happened, but the times when the real me was there. The times when my outward appearance and the spirit man in me were completely aligned. I’m very happy with the person I’ve become. I am not saying this out of pride, but rather out of amazement and praise to God for the person he’s made me.
As you’re seeing, change is always there and now more than ever. Tonight I was in my car driving home and for the first time in my life I got upset about growing up. I’ve always been the one to want to be older and always pushing for the future to come faster, but now It’s time to go after that future and I felt like Im just being thrown out there. I felt like all of my preparing and acting like i was ready to grow up was for nothing. It’s crazy to think that in less than 4 years ( which used to seem like a lot, but now It feels like nothing more than a few months) I will be done with school and living on my own.
I’m now seeing why colleges are so full of sex, drugs. partying and just wild kids. Its because we’re all going through a rough time... even the most ready to go person gets this way deep inside somewhere. There is a longing for familiarity. There’s something inside of all of us that wants to feel like we belong and like we can stay a kid forever and still have that safety, but that’s just not the case and we all know it. So everyone has as much fun and acts as crazy as they can because they think that will prepare them for the real world and make the transition easier on them. I can see why they’d think that, because hey... everyone’s doing it and it feels good and we only get this carefree opportunity once so why not enjoy it right?
That’s not the case for me tho... luckily for me I know better, because If I didn’t know what I am about to say I would be just like those kids if not the worst of them. Im not going to end up like that tho, because I know that God has always been there and will always be there. I know its cliche’ and we its said a lot, but its the truth. To think back on all of the changes I’ve gone through and to think ahead and think of all of the change thats happening now and in my future one thing has always been true.
God was there. When I cant get ahold of my old friends, and when no one else is home when I come back for a visit and I feel like I’m alone...God is there. He’ll always be there. When you feel like you have no one to share a part of life with...share it with him, after all he made it all happen anyway. I’ll always share life with my family and my friends and of course my girlfriend, but no one can come close to the conversations i can have with with my true father, God. Any memory that can ever come up or any rough transition that I’m in that no one else has to go through, God will always be there to listen to his son talk about the great things he’s done and to help me through those times.
That is my comfort and my strength. That is what keeps me faithful and true to God, myself, and everyone else. The saviour of all of us, the creator of the world, my best friend and my greatest guide will always be there with me. I know this has been more of a book than a blog, but please if you’ve read it all take it to heart and leave me a comment to let me know how you feel about it...God Bless You... you can get through this whole life thing. You are never alone.
Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you
Okay so I’ve thinking about change a whole lot lately. It really hit me when I was speaking at youth group wed. night. For years I’ve thought about what I would say to the group on Senior Night 2007. Well wed. afternoon came and I had forgotten about it for a few days prior. I had planned on talking about Unity and Ephesians 4. I did mention it, but i didn’t even read the scripture I had typed out and highlighted in my hand. I just talked about my time spent at The Rock and how my life has changed and developed there and as I stood in front of that crowd knowing that I would only be a part of that group for 2 more Wed. Nights, the 5 years that I spent there flashed in front of my eyes.
From my first time in the “upper room” to the grand opening of The Rock , From my first night as a worship leader to my last winter retreat. The one thing that stayed the same through all 5 years was change. Things were always changing there, not only in the ministry, but in me. I can happily say that looking back at the little punk kid on stage attempting to be a rock star in a worship team at a small youth group 5 years ago and looking myself now I know all of the changes were for the better. I had some crazy highs and some waaayyy down lows, but in the end... I’m a better person. It’s just so weird to be able to look back. I remember being young enough to only remember birthday parties and christmases...but now I can remember significant life decisions and big events that came and went in a blink.
All of that changed me somehow. I got a little like this around graduation, but the school stuff is so much less permanent. The Rock and my christian journey isn’t the fabricated teenage years that you can watch on TV. Its not just nice memories of friends, dances and activities. Don’t get me wrong, that’s all great, but it doesnt come close to the real impact that my Youth Group and God himself had on me...and the impact that I’ve had on myself.
There’s a thought... we can impact ourselves positively and negatively. There is some truth to all of the super hero movies and Star wars and even some cartoons for that matter. There really are 2 forces at war in side of us...we just have to pick self we allow to impact our lives and which one we bind up... it gets real bad when one’s characteristics start to merge with your “other half” inside of you. That is the root of depression and unfaithfulness and loneliness just to know a few, but the most obvious product of us allowing our evil/human self to attempt to use some of its characteristics when our intentions are to live our lives as our spirit self is blatant hypocrisy. My hypocrisy wasn't always obvious, actually almost never for that matter, but I know darn well that my “christian” speech and attitude didn’t always line up with my actions. I just learned how to sidestep things. To the point at which I got so good at convincing myself that I wasn’t doing anything wrong that I actually believed my own lies... this of course was just what cause the dips in the roller-coaster of my life, when I look back at the grand scheme of things. What I really notice isn’t these bad changes that happened, but the times when the real me was there. The times when my outward appearance and the spirit man in me were completely aligned. I’m very happy with the person I’ve become. I am not saying this out of pride, but rather out of amazement and praise to God for the person he’s made me.
As you’re seeing, change is always there and now more than ever. Tonight I was in my car driving home and for the first time in my life I got upset about growing up. I’ve always been the one to want to be older and always pushing for the future to come faster, but now It’s time to go after that future and I felt like Im just being thrown out there. I felt like all of my preparing and acting like i was ready to grow up was for nothing. It’s crazy to think that in less than 4 years ( which used to seem like a lot, but now It feels like nothing more than a few months) I will be done with school and living on my own.
I’m now seeing why colleges are so full of sex, drugs. partying and just wild kids. Its because we’re all going through a rough time... even the most ready to go person gets this way deep inside somewhere. There is a longing for familiarity. There’s something inside of all of us that wants to feel like we belong and like we can stay a kid forever and still have that safety, but that’s just not the case and we all know it. So everyone has as much fun and acts as crazy as they can because they think that will prepare them for the real world and make the transition easier on them. I can see why they’d think that, because hey... everyone’s doing it and it feels good and we only get this carefree opportunity once so why not enjoy it right?
That’s not the case for me tho... luckily for me I know better, because If I didn’t know what I am about to say I would be just like those kids if not the worst of them. Im not going to end up like that tho, because I know that God has always been there and will always be there. I know its cliche’ and we its said a lot, but its the truth. To think back on all of the changes I’ve gone through and to think ahead and think of all of the change thats happening now and in my future one thing has always been true.
God was there. When I cant get ahold of my old friends, and when no one else is home when I come back for a visit and I feel like I’m alone...God is there. He’ll always be there. When you feel like you have no one to share a part of life with...share it with him, after all he made it all happen anyway. I’ll always share life with my family and my friends and of course my girlfriend, but no one can come close to the conversations i can have with with my true father, God. Any memory that can ever come up or any rough transition that I’m in that no one else has to go through, God will always be there to listen to his son talk about the great things he’s done and to help me through those times.
That is my comfort and my strength. That is what keeps me faithful and true to God, myself, and everyone else. The saviour of all of us, the creator of the world, my best friend and my greatest guide will always be there with me. I know this has been more of a book than a blog, but please if you’ve read it all take it to heart and leave me a comment to let me know how you feel about it...God Bless You... you can get through this whole life thing. You are never alone.
Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you
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