Identity Crisis

We are born with an inherent desire to "find ourselves." From birth we are constantly trying to find our place in the world and find out who we even are. Through adolescence we are willing to do almost anything to latch onto an identity with friends, family, school, whoever will let us in. In college we've basically got who we are figured out and were starting to figure out what to do with that. As we get older we come to grips with that identity; good or bad and ride it out until the end.

But what if were wrong...

What if the identity that we've put on ourselves is not who we truly are at all...

What if somewhere along the way we've allowed other voices or even our sin and struggles to mark us...

I am worthless.

I am a sinner.

I am not loved.

I am a cheater.

I am an addict.

I hurt people.

I can't be trusted.

Is that really who you are? What a sad existence... completely bound to a negative view that can totally control your decisions and emotions. I mentioned all negative examples, but finding your identity in positive things can hurt just as much. If your identity is entirely found in being a teacher, artist, writer, student etc. you become bound to a performance mentality. You find yourself lacking wholeness unless you're doing that thing... and doing perfectly at it.

What if we all could realize that who we are is not at all dependent on what we do... but by who's we are.

When we allow those identities to control our thoughts and our own view we are giving the control to their source. Who is that? Is it other people? Is the person you see in the mirror entirely based on what you've been told you are? Yet again... this is as harmful with good things as bad.

So who does your identity belong to?

Your friends?

Your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Your parents?

Your leaders/teachers?

The media?

The church?

Your Past?

God...?

Look at that list. Some of those sources can lead to some dangerous and lifeless identities. If your identity is solely set on what happened in your past you aren't going to get anywhere. If its set on other people they get to make you into who they want you to be. Even those closest to you can change things in you just because its what they want you to be. You need solid Godly influence that will push you into who you are called to be and into your best life possible.

But what if...

we let God give us our identity.

He is eternal

He is perfect

He is love

He is the greatest father in history

He knows all

He knows your future

He knows your past

So why not give him control of the present? Search through His word and let Him know that He gets to tell you who you are. He will pull things out of you and gift you with things you could never imagine. The bible gives us a perfect example in Christ. We are called to be like Him and no identity is better than His.

No one knows you like He does.

No one loves you like He does.

No one's plan and identity for you is greater than His.

So let Him tell you who you are. Your past is forgiven and washed in the blood. There is no need to cling to those old and broken identities.

You are new

You are powerful

You are whole

You are beautiful

You are safe

You are His

You are loved

Jeremiah 29:11

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Hello my name is Brandon... and I am a love addict

This monday was labor day and we are that much closer to the end of summer. Summer ended for me nearly a month ago, but the rest of the world has about three weeks left. The summer of 2009 will surely not be forgotten. God managed to take my world and turn it upside down, inside out and backwards in just a few short months, but it was a wonderful time of growth. I originally planned on writing out a blog containing all the details of that crazy summer, but I decided against that. I thought it would be much more beneficial to just pull out the main theme of my summer, which has continued into this year.

I have become a love addict.

Before I explain the addiction I have to explain the revelation that set it into action. As I pushed through ropes this spring, embarked on my missions trip & began ministry work at home one phrase rang out in my head...

"It's not about me"

That phrase came to me as I did push-ups in the mud during ropes. I was at the end of my first year at ORU, still tired from the stresses of the year and completely broken by all I had been through. I was in no condition to be doing a high-intensity training camp for missions. I just wanted to relax and detox myself from the crazy year I had experienced. God had another thing in mind for me (He always knows what's best... even when my opinion differs from his). The Lord knew that what a needed wasn't a pillow and a comfy bed to lay in while the semester gently faded away. I needed a mud pit, some nasty scenario food & 5 days of little sleep.

I needed to be broken.

About two days into my ropes experience my view changed from that of disdain and frustration to that of brokenness & love. I embraced the last few day of ropes and God worked in me in a way that I never saw before. Ten years into my walk with God I had never been so aware of the mentality that this Jesus thing is "Not about me".

It is all about Him.

It is all about the Cross.

It is all about love.

Love was always an important and frequently pondered topic to me. Last year I was even to the point of planning an entire book about my journey to find love. My plans for that book were full of good intentions, but were selfish in execution. The whole plan was focused on my journey, my stories, and my understanding of love. God isn't focused as much on my ideas about love, but how I can be active in love and catch the love happening all around me. That being said I'm not sure what will come of that book idea, but that my idea of love is very different now.

Love is a choice.

This summer I was in a youth service and my pastor said that simple sentence. Those four words took my view of love shook it down and flipped it around completely. It made me realize that when you say "I love you" you aren't merely recognizing an emotion. You are showing them that regardless of their emotions, actions or desires you are going to show them love. Love gives of yourself and makes room for what they need most. Love chooses to think of that person before yourself... even when it hurts. God's word says it best. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:13 To lay down your life doesn't necessarily mean to die, but to give up your ambitions and your motives in order that someone else's life would be blessed.

Love is often thought of in such a romantic sense and I understand why, but for me this newfound love addiction is not related at all to romance. I'm addicted to that pure self-giving love. I'm addicted to seeing love around me in everyone. I'm addicted to loving people where they're at. I like to learn how people work and figure out what loving them means.

As a person in youth ministry I am constantly working on how to best love and serve the kids I interact with. One of the most rewarding things for me is when they act in love with each other or other people. It is so exciting to see them sold out for the Lord and what He has for them. Thats an amazing love that certainly can't be copied by emotions. That is the love that can bring joy to my heart and bring me to the verge of tears. My Jesus is truly amazing and I love to see others fall in love with Him.

What can I say... its an addiction...