I dont have time!

As of this summer I will have been leading worship and playing in bands for 7 years. Thats a long time when you're only 21 years old. What a blessing... I am so thankful that I have had that opportunity. Anyway the point is that in that time I have learned, sang and played a whole lot of songs. Some that have been nothing more than I good song to stick in the set, others that have impacted me greatly. All that to say over the years I've gotten into a habit of learning songs quickly and just ignoring what I'm saying. Sure I could tell you the lyrics and the point of the song, but every once in a while some of the words will just pass by without me ever thinking about what its really saying. I'm sure any of you that have ever led worship will know what I mean.

This morning we were playing 'How He Loves' at church and a line jumped out at me. I've led that song a whole lot, the band has played it on sundays nearly once a month since last semester and I couldn't begin to guess how many times I've listened to it, but today... something was different.

Today we were in the song and the spirit was really moving in our church. It was awesome to see everyone worshipping and really grasping God's love for them. When we got to the second verse the line I don't have time to maintain these regrets really stuck out to me. Moments later Pastor Jamie got up on stage and pointed out that same line.

How awesome is that!? We literally do not have time to worry about the past or our mistakes. God's Word says that He forgives us and "remembers our sins no more."(Hebrews 10:17) The Word also says that true love "keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13:5)

God has forgiven and forgotten... shouldn't we? I shared with a friend after church about how that line spoke to me today and she said something that really impacted me. She said that that line is why she loves that song so much and then she said, "Such a beautiful thing that God has so much in store for us that we can't even dwell on our mistakes, because if we do we waste His time."

Wow! We can waste God's time...? You're telling me that the God who has been here forever... and will be here forever can have His time wasted?

YES!!

God has a plan for us every moment of every day and with every decision we're either following that or we aren't. This in itself may cause us to regret and think about what we have missed the times that we ignored God's plan for us. We shouldn't use that as a reason to be down on ourselves, but as a catalyst to seek God even more in every moment.

God's plan used to be some huge overarching destination for my future. I always prayed as if one day I would learn that plan and His plan was all about the big things in my life. Sure God cares about my college, my job, my spouse, my ministry... etc. but I never really noticed how much God cares about the day to day. Psalm 37:23 says that "He delights in every detail of their lives."

See that? EVERY DETAIL. So why worry about the past and your pile of regrets and poor decisions when God has a plan for every single thing that is ahead of you?

I don't have time to maintain these regrets... when I think about the way He loves me.

God has moved on... shouldn't you?

He's got something new and exciting for you... Go find out what it is...

Magic Eraser

Isn't it funny how God's lessons come to us sometimes? He chooses to speak in the most random of ways and at the most random times... or is that just when we choose to listen? Okay thats another blog entirely...

Anyway, back to what I was going to talk about. Today I was on the stage of our church frantically scrubbing away at the white paint on the stage trying to remove scuff marks and whatever else was making it up. I was using a Mr. Clean magic eraser.

Yeah... one of those. I don't know if you've ever used one, but they're pretty awesome. Anyway... all that to say the darn thing didn't work. It would get some spots out, but some of the marks were deep stains that would show back up a few minutes after cleaning them.

This got me thinking...

How often do we treat God like a magic eraser?

We just want to say a quick prayer and any ugly mark on us is supposed to just go away. Yeah thats great... and God can and will do that... the bible says so...

ephesians 5:25-27 (NLT) just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

But if we stop there it kinda takes the responsibility off of us doesn't it?

We could just come to God every time we mess up and get that same just brushed clean feeling. God will forgive, but he calls us to repent.

Acts 3:19 (NIV) "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord."

See that? Your sins will only be "wiped out" if you truly repent for them. Repentance takes more than "I'm sorry." Repentance takes a radical lifestyle change that will result in forgiveness and victory over the sin.

So next time you want God to wipe a magic eraser over your situation try and give your whole self over to the process and really turn things around.

Green eyes

I've recently recorded a video of one of my newest songs and I'd love for you to check it out and please feel free to comment on it.

This song is a story of a girl who found her beauty through the eyes of God. So often we focus inward and look through the filter of our problems and past to find our identity. Please take these words to heart and know that your worth something in God's eyes. Thanks for listening and I hope this will bless you.

Click this link to check it out:

YouTube

Embracing the Cracks.

Over the last couple of months I have been studying the life of David. This study started when I realized that I wasn't taking anything from my devotions. Occasionally a proverb or something would resonate with me and I'd carry it around all day, but this was not a frequent occurrence and other than that I wasn't diligently studying anything. I knew that I empathized a lot with king David as a worshipper, but I did not know his story well so I decided to begin to study him.

In the weeks to come my pastor took us through a series covering 'Kings'. It was a powerful series and encouraged me even more in my study of King David. Then before leaving for Christmas break my pastor a book to read that he took much of his inspiration for that message series. The book tells the story of David's brokenness. I have not finished the book yet, but from what I have read I have begun to think even more into this concept of brokenness.

Tonight while reading the book one thought came to me.

Only when we are broken can the true spirit flow into and out of the cracks.

Nothing can be put into or pulled out of our hearts without a crack.

Cracks hurt don't they? Especially in the heart. A heart crack can come at the worst time and usually does. Once cracked we are given a choice.

What comes out and what flows in?

David was a broken and humbled man forced to a life of fleeing to pits and caves for many years. It was in that brokenness that he cried out to God many of the beautiful songs we find in the book of Psalms. David allowed his pride and selfish ambition to be pulled out and God's peace and spirit to flow in through the cracks.

We are given a choice. I will talk later about how at times we can choose brokenness, but it is when can't choose it... when we are cracked by outside circumstances that we are given that most important choice.

What flows through the cracks?

Do we embrace the brokenness like David and allow ourself to flow out of the cracks and more of God to flow in? Or do we push out truth and God's spirit and allow ourselves to be filled with bitterness and hate?

Cracks are revealing.

Lord knows we hate that. We don't like people to see the cracks and certainly not what is just beyond them... We like to hide our hearts and the darkness hiding behind the cracks. But maybe a good crack is a chance for someone to get in and help us to fix the inside.

Cracks are good and necessary.

Its not normal to embrace pain. No one likes being hurt and broken, but it is the best thing that could happen to you. David became the great king that he was through embracing the cracks.

Now is the chance to choose to be cracked.

Mark 8:34 "...if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me"

The cross is the greatest symbol of brokenness that the world has ever seen. Christ chose a horrible beating and an unimaginably painful death over a throne and glory so that we could be saved and through that an even greater glory came for Him. Because He could now share in it with us.

Our greatest glories will come in after the cracks.

We can achieve a lot on our own, but not nearly as much as we can through God and nothing we do on our own is lasting or anything of worth.

Choosing brokenness is not choosing pain or to run into the wilderness like David, but choosing to deny ourself and accept a broken life. This is a great and difficult act of humility, but as with every other topic I bring to you... there is freedom in knowing its not about you (or me). Once we make it past the initial pain and sense of vulnerability God can start to move into the cracks.

If we are already cracked and broken before the throne life's cracks aren't nearly as painful and life-shattering.

Cracks will come. Let God fill them and let yourself flow out.

Embrace the cracks.

Identity Crisis

We are born with an inherent desire to "find ourselves." From birth we are constantly trying to find our place in the world and find out who we even are. Through adolescence we are willing to do almost anything to latch onto an identity with friends, family, school, whoever will let us in. In college we've basically got who we are figured out and were starting to figure out what to do with that. As we get older we come to grips with that identity; good or bad and ride it out until the end.

But what if were wrong...

What if the identity that we've put on ourselves is not who we truly are at all...

What if somewhere along the way we've allowed other voices or even our sin and struggles to mark us...

I am worthless.

I am a sinner.

I am not loved.

I am a cheater.

I am an addict.

I hurt people.

I can't be trusted.

Is that really who you are? What a sad existence... completely bound to a negative view that can totally control your decisions and emotions. I mentioned all negative examples, but finding your identity in positive things can hurt just as much. If your identity is entirely found in being a teacher, artist, writer, student etc. you become bound to a performance mentality. You find yourself lacking wholeness unless you're doing that thing... and doing perfectly at it.

What if we all could realize that who we are is not at all dependent on what we do... but by who's we are.

When we allow those identities to control our thoughts and our own view we are giving the control to their source. Who is that? Is it other people? Is the person you see in the mirror entirely based on what you've been told you are? Yet again... this is as harmful with good things as bad.

So who does your identity belong to?

Your friends?

Your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Your parents?

Your leaders/teachers?

The media?

The church?

Your Past?

God...?

Look at that list. Some of those sources can lead to some dangerous and lifeless identities. If your identity is solely set on what happened in your past you aren't going to get anywhere. If its set on other people they get to make you into who they want you to be. Even those closest to you can change things in you just because its what they want you to be. You need solid Godly influence that will push you into who you are called to be and into your best life possible.

But what if...

we let God give us our identity.

He is eternal

He is perfect

He is love

He is the greatest father in history

He knows all

He knows your future

He knows your past

So why not give him control of the present? Search through His word and let Him know that He gets to tell you who you are. He will pull things out of you and gift you with things you could never imagine. The bible gives us a perfect example in Christ. We are called to be like Him and no identity is better than His.

No one knows you like He does.

No one loves you like He does.

No one's plan and identity for you is greater than His.

So let Him tell you who you are. Your past is forgiven and washed in the blood. There is no need to cling to those old and broken identities.

You are new

You are powerful

You are whole

You are beautiful

You are safe

You are His

You are loved

Jeremiah 29:11

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Hello my name is Brandon... and I am a love addict

This monday was labor day and we are that much closer to the end of summer. Summer ended for me nearly a month ago, but the rest of the world has about three weeks left. The summer of 2009 will surely not be forgotten. God managed to take my world and turn it upside down, inside out and backwards in just a few short months, but it was a wonderful time of growth. I originally planned on writing out a blog containing all the details of that crazy summer, but I decided against that. I thought it would be much more beneficial to just pull out the main theme of my summer, which has continued into this year.

I have become a love addict.

Before I explain the addiction I have to explain the revelation that set it into action. As I pushed through ropes this spring, embarked on my missions trip & began ministry work at home one phrase rang out in my head...

"It's not about me"

That phrase came to me as I did push-ups in the mud during ropes. I was at the end of my first year at ORU, still tired from the stresses of the year and completely broken by all I had been through. I was in no condition to be doing a high-intensity training camp for missions. I just wanted to relax and detox myself from the crazy year I had experienced. God had another thing in mind for me (He always knows what's best... even when my opinion differs from his). The Lord knew that what a needed wasn't a pillow and a comfy bed to lay in while the semester gently faded away. I needed a mud pit, some nasty scenario food & 5 days of little sleep.

I needed to be broken.

About two days into my ropes experience my view changed from that of disdain and frustration to that of brokenness & love. I embraced the last few day of ropes and God worked in me in a way that I never saw before. Ten years into my walk with God I had never been so aware of the mentality that this Jesus thing is "Not about me".

It is all about Him.

It is all about the Cross.

It is all about love.

Love was always an important and frequently pondered topic to me. Last year I was even to the point of planning an entire book about my journey to find love. My plans for that book were full of good intentions, but were selfish in execution. The whole plan was focused on my journey, my stories, and my understanding of love. God isn't focused as much on my ideas about love, but how I can be active in love and catch the love happening all around me. That being said I'm not sure what will come of that book idea, but that my idea of love is very different now.

Love is a choice.

This summer I was in a youth service and my pastor said that simple sentence. Those four words took my view of love shook it down and flipped it around completely. It made me realize that when you say "I love you" you aren't merely recognizing an emotion. You are showing them that regardless of their emotions, actions or desires you are going to show them love. Love gives of yourself and makes room for what they need most. Love chooses to think of that person before yourself... even when it hurts. God's word says it best. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:13 To lay down your life doesn't necessarily mean to die, but to give up your ambitions and your motives in order that someone else's life would be blessed.

Love is often thought of in such a romantic sense and I understand why, but for me this newfound love addiction is not related at all to romance. I'm addicted to that pure self-giving love. I'm addicted to seeing love around me in everyone. I'm addicted to loving people where they're at. I like to learn how people work and figure out what loving them means.

As a person in youth ministry I am constantly working on how to best love and serve the kids I interact with. One of the most rewarding things for me is when they act in love with each other or other people. It is so exciting to see them sold out for the Lord and what He has for them. Thats an amazing love that certainly can't be copied by emotions. That is the love that can bring joy to my heart and bring me to the verge of tears. My Jesus is truly amazing and I love to see others fall in love with Him.

What can I say... its an addiction...

The Body

This blog will be shorter than usual, but this could not go without writing. A couple in our congregation experienced a great loss this weekend. The wife was pregnant and was very close to her due date (not sure on details... sorry) and on friday she gave birth to a still-born. Our pastor rushed to the hospital in the very late hours of the night and prayed with them and dedicated this sweet life to the Lord. The woman told our Pastor that all she wanted to do was get to church on sunday, knowing that the Lord would bring her through. That is an amazing story of faith and strength in and of itself, but that isn't the amazing part

Today in the 9am service at my church something amazing happened. Our pastor told this story and then asked the family to stand so that they could be prayed for. He then instructed friends to come around them to lay hands on them and hold them up in prayer as a body. This happens a lot in church, but normally just a few people nearby will grab a shoulder while the rest of the congregation stretches their hands toward the person in agreement. Today was different. When Pastor gave that instruction people from all over rushed to the couples' side. Including most of the choir running down to be with them. I just stood on stage in amazement. I have never seen such beauty in grief in my life. The church was truly being the body of Christ. They ran to show love in the midst of their own schedules and own agenda for the morning. I have a close friend that plays in the band with me on sundays and after the service we just shared with eachother about how beautiful that was. His exact words to me were "that's the body..." How true! The body of Christ holds is held together with love. I don't know what else to say about what I saw today, but I know that it will stay with me... that was beautiful love...